Abortion causes illegal immigration

By Heraclitus

To paraphrase Lisa Simpson, I know all those words, but that title makes no sense. But, you know, Republicans say the darndest things.

JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. - A Republican-led legislative panel claims in a new report on illegal immigration that abortion is partly to blame because it is causing a shortage of American workers.

The report from the state House Special Committee on Immigration Reform also claims "liberal social welfare policies" have discouraged Americans from working and encouraged immigrants to cross the border illegally.

The statements about abortion, welfare policies and a recommendation to abolish income taxes in favor of sales taxes were inserted into the immigration report by the committee chairman, Rep. Ed Emery.

Okay, I could say some stuff about this, but forcing you to read me when you could be reading Amanda Marcotte would just be cruel and unusual. A sampling:

What I really love here is the notion that there’s something wholesome and upright about using government force to up the production capacities of Anglo uterine factories, for the sole purpose of driving down Big Agra’s labor costs while also sparing uptight, wealthy WASPs the indignity of hearing people speaking Spanish or seeing people with dark skin just walking about. Talk about corporate welfare! The report is a two-fer. Not only should American women raise more children at great expense to themselves to drive down labor costs for Big Agra, according to the report, the tax burden should also be shifted down the income ladder, so that the people who can least afford it are paying a bigger portion of their income to it.

By the way, I know I've mentioned Elvis Costello's collaboration with The Fairfield Four, "That Day is Done," here before. But you should really check out the Fairfield Four album that song is from, I Couldn't Hear Nobody Pray. I would say God...Damn, but they're religious, and that seems rather contrary to the spirit of their music. If I ever get religion, I think it might be through these songs. Check out, for instance, "Four and Twenty Elders." How many songs that use the phrase "but you never said a mumbly word" non-ironically can bring a smart-assed atheist to the verge of tears? Or listen to their song with Pam Tillis on the album, "Get Away Jordan." Really, though, the whole album is amazing.