The SOTS

By Heraclitus

"My fellow Americans, the state of the simper is strong. I will not let my own overwhelming, criminal incompetence lessen my sociopathic sense of self-satisfaction. No matter how many die needlessly in Iraq to appease my adolescent bravado, no matter how bleak our economic future, no matter how many major polluters demand that I take action against climate change, I will not waver in my narcissism. This is my pledge to you."